Are You Attractive?

Consider how you like your looks:

• How do you view how you look? Are you proud or embarrassed?

• What's your most and least favorite part of your body? What would you change if you could?

• Do you consider yourself beautiful or plain, attractive or repulsive?

Without knowing you, I know that your:

• Waist may be too wide or backside too bulbous.

• Eyebrows might be too thick and must be plucked or too thin and must be drawn.

• Hands are too fat or the skin too thin.

• Legs are too chunky or chicken-like.

• Chin is too small or you have one too many.

• Nose is hooked or big or nostrils too noticeable.

• Cheeks are too chubby or too sunken-in.

How many of us are attractive?

I don't know you but I know the world we live in. Truth is, the percentage of people who are 'attractive' is a small sliver of the population.

Who set this standard that you're comparing yourself against?

• Some powerful committee?

• A vast, left-wing conspiracy?

• The attractive people of the world?

• Advertisers? Beer commercials?

• Movies & TV shows? Threes Company perhaps?

Embracing your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful.

What does this mean? The fact is, anyone can be beautiful - regardless of their physical features. Consider these famous people (all images by Martin Schoeller):

When I look at these pictures, I see receding hairlines, bushy eyebrows, deep wrinkles, scars, moles, jowls, misshapen noses, thin lips and crooked eyes. Their faces are asymmetrical and not the definition of attractive.

Yet they are. They're beautiful and magnetic and charming and inspirational. They're leaders, idols, entertainers and role models. They attract others to them. That's the definition of attractive.

Why are these people so attractive? Does it have ANYTHING to do with the shape of their faces or their bodies? If not, then what is it?

Whether you admire each of these people or not, you recognize them as outstanding humans. I'm trying to illustrate the principle that the thing that makes them attractive is that they know and accept who they are. They are each incredibly unique. They are authentic. They aren't trying to be someone else. That inner-confidence and authenticity draws us in and makes us feel as if we KNOW THEM.

This is the true law of attraction.

There has been a lot written about 'the law of attraction.' The current definition is: whatever you put out into the universe will come back to you. I'm proposing that we redefine this law to mean: Accepting and loving who you are will allow you to be authentic and that realness will attract others to you. People aren't attracted to something that is fake.

Your imperfections are perfectly you.

You are perfectly you. The only person you can successfully be is you. If you try to be someone else, that's the definition of fake. If you're trying to change yourself to attract others, you're headed towards a dead-end. But, if you be yourself, you'll attract EXACTLY the kind of people who are a perfect fit for you. Would you want it any other way?

Beautiful Elaine.

Elaine was a woman I photographed a few months ago. She explained that she didn't want to show her finger. She had a condition where her arteries and veins were joined incorrectly - which enlarged and discolored her finger. She talked about how her grandkids loved to squeeze her finger because it would temporarily shrink before becoming enlarged again.

As I listened to her and suggested that, instead of hiding her finger, we embrace it and highlight it. I told her that it was part of who she is. I said that I hadn't ever known anyone who had that condition. It made her unique in the world and that uniqueness is truly beautiful. She was hesitant until I told her that her grandchildren would love to see and remember this part of her.

She agreed and we created some incredible images that highlighted her perfect imperfection. Here are a few:

I think we all agree that her imperfections are what make her interesting and beautiful. The same can be said about you.

Accepting exactly who you are is what makes you attractive.

If you truly accept yourself in every way, including your appearance, you'll be truly attractive. In other words, everyone who knows you, meets you or even sees you will be attracted to you. Self-acceptance and self-love is the most confidence-inspiring, beautiful feature a human can acquire.

We humans do a lot to improve our attractiveness - everything from weight loss to expensive clothing to enhancement surgery. Ironically, it's precisely the opposite that makes us truly attractive: accepting - even loving - all of our imperfections and flaws!

So, look in the mirror. See every feature - good and bad. You're witnessing trillions of cells working together - all busy being you. You're completely unique in the world. The second you embrace yourself in your entirety, you'll suddenly become truly attractive.